when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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