my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
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Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
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The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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