That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
