Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
