this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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