we have pet lesbian snakes
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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