yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
this beer tastes like vomit already
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
This is the high leading the old right now
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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