super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
