dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.