just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
well I can't set my house on fire every night
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
