Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

dude, your ex-bf is on match.com

(847): View more from Illinois

details on that.

(312): View more from Illinois

well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.

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(815): View more from Illinois

His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.

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(562): View more from California

Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.

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(716): View more from New York

I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(608): View more from Wisconsin

A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.

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(928): View more from Arizona

it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

You humped everything and cried in an uber.

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