she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.