chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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