No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
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