Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
How external is "for external use only"?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize