Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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