So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
