I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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