You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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