all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
