The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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