How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
