Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
