just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
