Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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