Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
