is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize