so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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