I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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