I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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