this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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