He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
