What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
