i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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