Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
