The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
