remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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