Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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