Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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