we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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