You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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