Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
