All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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