Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
