she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
