Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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