so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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