Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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