would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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