Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
