He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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