i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
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