when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
