A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
