I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
