I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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