She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
