I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
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"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I didn't notice because vodka
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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