bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
two words: eviction party
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
