Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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